Mr. Jimenez, I have one small request.

The Philippine advertising industry must be happy and proud about the appointment of one of its own – Mon Jimenez – as the new tourism secretary.  I wish him well.  He steered his old agency Jimenez-Basic to great heights.  He created several successful and iconic marketing campaigns.  His managerial skills and marketing savvy would certainly come in handy as he takes on the monumental task of turning the tourism business around.  It’s about time. 

We live in a time when most people on the Net annoyingly turn expert on any burning issue (the arts, tourism slogans, politics, contraception).  I don’t want to add to the madness by telling Mon J. how to do his job.  I’m sure he knows better than most of us.  I just have one small request:  Please fix our airport.  It doesn’t take an expert to know the importance of airports.  They’re economic engines.  They generate billions in economic activity.  More importantly, they define the communities they are in. 

That makes us one ugly nation, then?

The fees are steep.  Public transport is spotty and inefficient.  There aren’t enough decent restos.  Shopping sucks.  The toilets don’t work.  The lighting is incomplete and dizzying.  Plants in sorry claypots greet you upon arrival.  The guitar-playing chorus is too folksy.  The wall needs a new paint job.  The airport personnel are lethargic, dour, not looking at all smart (abominably un-Filipino!).   The only saving grace is Grey Goose.  It’s cheaper at the Duty Free.

My fave travel writer Pico Iyer devotes one chapter on airports in his book, The Global Soul.  He calls the airport as a postmodern metropolis, a space that has a distinct culture of noncultures.  It’s a showcase and laboratory for commerce, nourishment, entertainment, technology, education and social interaction.  But we have none of that, Pico.  I know you’ve been to Manila before.  Perhaps your NAIA experience was too dreadful to store in your travel memory bank.

Has there ever been a movie shot inside the Manila terminal or a replica of it?  I’ve seen many local movies shot outside the terminal, for tearful farewell scenes.  But the camera never manages to get through the main gates; it seems uninterested.  Because NAIA makes for one lousy backdrop.

Maybe it would do if the movie were poverty porn.

Now that's a perfect airport shot.  From "Catch Me If You Can".